January 2nd - Sisters

I didn't end up getting this post done yesterday (great way to start my new resolution, I know), so I'm going to backtrack and write one today.

Yesterday was the first day to challenge my resolution to find something positive in my day. Lilya had a day where she decided not to nap (which is always a ton of fun), the internet went down for some random reason (and fixed itself even more randomly about an hour after I called the cable company to tell them to send someone out), and I had some stress over money and bills, the latter of which are never-ending, and the former of which I find I never have enough.

Just a generally anxious and not productive day, really. I actually had to leave for about two hours to sit at the coffee shop alone, where I did manage to finish my holiday cards and read for a bit, which helped to re-collect my thoughts a bit.

Which, while positive, isn't my most positive aspect, actually. While driving home and crying (sometimes, the stress associated with the prospect of the next year and a half of being a single mom alone going through nursing school just gets to me, I'll admit it), I really struggled to come up with a positive part of the day, and had to ask myself several times. What came to mind from underneath all the muck tears was my conversation with Deisa that I had on Skype in the afternoon.

Not that the conversation was all that special. We didn't talk about too many things that were deep. Actually, she mostly told me about her escapades with New Year's Eve and Seattle partying, which are things that, as a mom, I can no longer relate to but enjoy hearing, if only to live vicariously through those experiences for a little bit. I also appreciate that we've managed to grow very close since we've moved out of our mother's house years ago, much closer than I ever would have thought. I don't know how that happened, but it somehow did, and there's something special about having another person in the world with whom you can commiserate over experiences during the growing-up process, especially in a family as dysfunctional as ours.